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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28745352">All These Things That I've Done</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/timelesslords/pseuds/timelesslords'>timelesslords</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heroes of Olympus One Shots [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians &amp; Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Light Angst, Missing Scene, One Shot, POV Piper, Piper McLean is a Good Friend, Post-Tartarus (Percy Jackson), just a deeply self-indulgent one-shot of Piper and Percy having a chat, set between HOH and BOO, with some light percabeth at the beginning bc I'm a simp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:08:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28745352</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/timelesslords/pseuds/timelesslords</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s one thing to hear that when you kill monsters they go— you know. But being there, seeing it—“ Percy shook his head like he was trying to clear the images from his brain, “It just makes you realize exactly what you’ve done to them.”</p><p>“But they’re monsters.” Piper protested, “They’re trying to kill us. They’re evil.”</p><p>“Are they? All of them? All the time?” Percy asked. His eyes no longer looked misty and far off, but very present as he met Piper’s gaze.</p><p><i>“Yes.”</i> was Piper’s immediate response, but something in Percy’s expression gave her pause.</p><p>***</p><p>In which Percy and Piper bond over some residual Tartarus trauma. Set between House of Hades and Blood of Olympus.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson &amp; Piper McLean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heroes of Olympus One Shots [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>199</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>All These Things That I've Done</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Things had changed aboard the Argo II.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't exactly that Piper had just expected everything to get back to normal after they got Percy and Annabeth back. They'd all changed, from Frank's growth spurt to Hazel's magic, to Leo's... whatever had happened to Leo. Even Piper felt different than she had a few weeks ago; stronger, more grounded, somehow. But nobody had changed as much as Percy and Annabeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was to be expected, obviously. Nobody goes through </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> and comes out the same. Annabeth had confided in Piper some of the horrors they had met down there, and frankly Piper was shocked they were both able to string complete sentences together. Just the bits and pieces Annabeth had told her were enough to drive anyone mad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Piper could tell they were hiding the worst of it from everyone but each other. There were little things, like the way a smile would slide off Percy’s face without a reason, how Annabeth would reach for Percy’s hand under every table. They both got winded more easily, neither looked like they had gotten a good night’s sleep in weeks. Bigger things too: Percy’s powers seemed a bit less tethered to his control. More pipes had burst in the last week than the rest of the quest put together. Annabeth disliked the dark now, which she never had before. And of course, every night one of them would slip into the other’s room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everybody else pretended not to notice, but they all did. Percy and Annabeth weren’t exactly trying to hide it, but maybe they felt like they should at least pretend now that they were officially without adult supervision. Buford the Table had conspicuously not used its Coach Hedge holographic to yell at them to do push-ups or put clothes on, and Piper suspected Leo had programmed it to leave them alone. It was a sign of how serious the situation was that Leo would take the opportunity away from Buford the Table to bully any of the demigods on board. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper wondered if the real Coach Hedge would even bother to try and stop them if he were still here. She doubted it. That scandalous night Percy and Annabeth got caught in the stables felt like lifetimes ago. Maybe it was, in a way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they were coping. They acted almost like themselves, and that was more than anyone could have asked for, really. </span>
  <span>So what if they were a little co-dependent? They still had the rest of the quest to survive. They all might be dead tomorrow. Percy and Annabeth could unpack all that later, assuming there was a later. Maybe it was the Aphrodite in her, but Piper didn’t see the point of anyone trying to combat Percy and Annabeth’s interdependence. At least, not now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason, on the other hand, was starting to get worried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d been scheduling watch shifts so that Percy and Annabeth would be asleep at the same time (and yeah, okay, maybe Piper had a little bit to do with that) but it was starting to get more and more difficult as the days dragged on. Today, for example, half of the ballista had gotten blasted off the side of the ship (again), leaving the ship unable to fly. It would take Leo most of the night to make repairs, and in the meantime they had a long stretch of sea to cross. They needed Percy for that, but Annabeth had already been up since dawn working schematics with Leo. She was in no shape to pull a night shift, especially considering she constantly looked exhausted these days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper was almost worried Percy would flat out refuse to leave Annabeth alone, but they both took the news surprisingly calmly, like they had expected this would be an inevitability. Still, that didn’t stop the conversation Piper overheard as they made their way out of the mess room into the hallway. She wasn’t exactly eavesdropping, they knew she was in the next room, but other people seemed to slip past their notices these days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Percy murmured. Piper could almost hear Annabeth rolling her eyes, but her voice was chiding and affectionate regardless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just going to sleep, Percy. It’s not like it’ll kill me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, it’s just—“ Percy sounded agitated, but Annabeth cut him off in the same gentle tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I’ll be fine, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy sighed, but didn’t argue. Piper took this as an opportune moment to make as much noise as possible opening the mess door so they could hear her coming out into the hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were still standing close enough to be considered a compromising position, both hands clasped in each other’s next to their chests. A month ago they might’ve jumped apart with someone coming down the hallway, but now they seemed reluctant, sluggish even to let go. Piper was very forcibly reminded of one of the myths of creation; how Zeus had initially built humans as doubled, eventually splitting them in two, dooming each half to walk the earth in desperate search of the other, a futile pilgrimage to become whole once again. Even before they’d journeyed through hell together, Piper could tell Percy and Annabeth had had that connection. They were just more anxious to let it go now, even if they knew it was coming back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy managed to muster a smile for Piper and her noisy entrance into the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guard duty, you and me McLean. You ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m pumped.” Piper said, returning his smile. She was not in fact, pumped for guard duty (could anyone really be pumped for guard duty?) but the least she could do was feign some enthusiasm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two have fun. I’m going to bed.” Annabeth said with a wide yawn. She gave Percy a quick hug and a kiss before heading down the hallway. Piper didn’t miss her heading for the boy’s side of the ship, opting for Percy’s room rather than her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night air was surprisingly peaceful and quiet, the only noise coming from the occasional banging and hammering below-deck as Leo made repairs. The sea stretched out before them like a glittering tapestry, reflecting the light of the moon like tiny diamonds on little breaks in the water. It would be beautiful if it weren’t so completely chock-full of things that wanted to kill them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy stood at the helm of the ship, looking deep in thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time Piper had met Percy, she had found him a little… underwhelming. He had a dangerous energy, sure, an aura that made your hair stand on end and the rational part of your brain scream </span>
  <em>
    <span>DUCK!</span>
  </em>
  <span> But he’d looked so normal, so scruffy and unassuming, that Piper had underestimated him. Thought he couldn’t possibly live up to the hype. Now only a few weeks later, she could see just how painfully incorrect her first assumption had been. Especially now, brooding at the helm of the ship, surrounded by his natural element, he looked anything but unassuming. Naturally Piper did the dumb thing and decided to go disturb him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She approached slowly, giving him plenty of opportunity to notice her and tell her to scram. But he either didn’t notice her or didn’t care, because she made it all the way to the helm before he glanced over at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” He said, again conjuring a small smile. Probably to let her know her presence was welcome.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Piper said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t sure what to say next. Her and Percy had never really been tight, not like her and Annabeth. He was better friends with Hazel and Frank. She wasn’t sure how to strike up a conversation with him. Especially now. What do you even say to a guy that just clawed his way out of literal hell? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nice weather out here?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, Percy spoke before she came up with something dumb to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s quiet,” he observed. Despite this, he already had his sword, Riptide, uncapped and ready to go. It glowed gold in the moonlight, throwing his face in a shimmering bronze-y relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Feels a bit weird.” Piper said. She’d learned very quickly that silence was often deadlier than an obvious threat. And the silence out now was borderline eerie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like it.” Percy said. He was frowning now, the smile that had crossed his face earlier effectively erased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was almost comical how quickly things went wrong after that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In an instant the air pressure changed. Something, multiple somethings, appeared behind them, so fast Piper didn’t even have a chance to scream as one barreled into Percy, knocking him off the side of the ship. Piper ducked and rolled on instinct. She knew she made the right choice when she felt something fly over the space she had just occupied. She slashed upward with her knife and was rewarded with a shower of yellow monster dust. She barely registered Percy shooting out of the water like a bullet, swiping a wide arc with his sword and dissolving two more of the monsters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper finally managed to stand and get her bearings, realizing as she did that a flock of griffons had swarmed the deck. This was bizarre; normally these types only attacked when they were airborne. Then again, it wasn’t even on the top ten list of craziest things that had happened during this quest, and Piper decided it would probably be best to ponder why they were there after they destroyed the rest of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A griffon pounced towards her, claws out. Piper skittered backwards on the deck. The claws barely missed her chest, but when Piper lunged back, knife first, the monster was unprepared. It dissolved rather unceremoniously, dust scattering in the wind. It also freed Piper’s vision to the bow of the ship, where Percy had managed to kill every monster but one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was smaller than the others, the runt of the pack. Maybe the fact that it was a trickier target had let it live this long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy parried the griffin’s swipe of claws with his sword, once, then twice. Piper wasn’t sure why he was playing defense when the head was in striking distance, it seemed unlike him. She was about to run over and help when the griffin managed to push past Percy’s defensive strike and knock him backwards on the deck, crawling onto his chest with a triumphant roar. Percy’s sword was still in his hand, so why wasn’t he using it? His eyes looked wild and unfocused, like he wasn’t sure what he was looking at. The griffon raised it’s claw, going in for a deadly swipe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kill it!” Piper screamed desperately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t meant to infuse her yell with charmspeak, but these days it seemed to slip out regardless of whether she was trying in situations like this. Percy’s hesitation vanished, he swung his sword arm upright, dissolving the monster in a single, fatal blow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper ran over to him. He was still lying on the deck near the bow, breathing like he had just run a mile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” Piper asked. He didn’t look bloody, which Piper decided to take as a good sign.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Percy said, closing his eyes, steadying his breaths, composing his expression, “Yeah, I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?” Piper asked skeptically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy just nodded, opening his eyes. He looked more grounded now, though it did not seem to be without effort. Piper offered him a hand up and he took it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay?” Percy asked, green eyes giving her a furtive one-over. Piper glanced down at her own arms, legs and torso, looking for any injuries she might’ve missed from the adrenaline. A few scratches, but nothing serious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine. I only got two of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy nodded, turning his neck to look skyward, where the bird demons had come from. It was a cloudy night, which explained how they managed to sneak up on them so fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you kill the last one?” Piper asked, the words slipping out of her mouth before she could stop them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did.” He said, gesturing his sword towards the scattered monster dust on the deck, but Piper could tell from the guarded expression that had swept over his face he knew exactly what she was talking about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper hesitated, unsure whether to press further or not. She shouldn’t have asked in the first place, but it had just seemed so uncharacteristic. She’d never seen him freeze up in a battle like that. And if it happened again…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You just seemed like— you hesitated, a little.” Piper said, tentatively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She almost immediately regretted it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ship shuddered, like the water they were passing over had suddenly turned from totally smooth to completely agitated. Percy was looking at her with a strange kind of focus. It made her nerves tingle, the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She thought for sure that the water was going to leap over the sides of the boat and drag her into the ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then the moment passed. The sea smoothed out beneath them, and Percy broke his gaze with a soft sigh. That didn’t stop Piper’s heart from continuing to thud double time in her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing. Stupid.” He said, running a hand through his dark hair. It should’ve been soaked from being thrown overboard, but it just looked a bit damp, like the only thing that had affected it was the sea spray splashing up from the sides of the ship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look,” Piper said, trying to ignore the fact that her mouth had gone dry, “I— you don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. But I don’t think it’s nothing. And I don’t think it’s stupid, either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Half of Percy’s face turned up in a lopsided sort of smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t even heard it. How could you know whether it’s stupid or not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Educated guess.” Piper said, trying to return the smile, though she was fairly sure it didn’t meet her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy sighed again, heavily this time, and turned towards the ocean. He was gripping the railing with one hand, his sword still in the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve killed a lot of monsters. Like, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of monsters.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy glanced over at her, like he was expecting her to laugh at him, or say </span>
  <em>
    <span>“yeah, duh</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Piper just nodded, sensing more coming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it only just hit me how much— how much suffering I’ve caused.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper frowned without meaning to. Whatever she had expected to come next, that was not it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” She asked. The look in Percy’s eyes was faraway, not quite focused. Like he and Piper were not seeing the same things in front of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s one thing to hear that when you kill monsters they go— you know. But being there, </span>
  <em>
    <span>seeing</span>
  </em>
  <span> it—“ Percy shook his head like he was trying to clear the images from his brain, “It just makes you realize exactly what you’ve done to them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But they’re monsters.” Piper protested, “They’re trying to kill us. They’re evil.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are they? All of them? All the time?” Percy asked. His eyes no longer looked misty and far off, but very present as he met Piper’s gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>was Piper’s immediate response, but something in Percy’s expression gave her pause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the monsters </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> had met and killed had been trying to kill her or eat her, or both. She’d barely escaped with her life more than a few times. But then again, Percy had been doing this for a lot longer than she had, the four camp beads on his necklace to her zero proved that well enough. Maybe he had met a few less-evil monsters along the way. But did it really matter, in the end? They couldn’t change it, couldn’t fix it. It would be as impossible to convince monsters to leave them alone as asking wild animals to stop hunting for food. It was just the nature of things. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s us or them.” Piper said. It was the truest thing she could think to say. Percy nodded, like he understood her answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure. Most of the time. And most of them— maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>deserve</span>
  </em>
  <span> it is a strong word, but they don’t— we don’t really have another choice. And that’s fine. I can deal with that.” Percy let go of a long breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But being there… it made me think, how many have I killed that </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t deserve it? Because that number isn’t zero. And I sent them-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>, just for being an inconvenience.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy looked back out towards the sea, like he didn’t want to see Piper’s reaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper herself didn’t really know how to react. She had never really thought of monsters like that before, as things with morality and feelings and complexity, deserving of one fate or another. But just because she hadn’t considered it before, did that make it untrue? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think it’s stupid.” Percy guessed, when what felt like a long time had passed and she still hadn’t said anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it’s stupid.” Piper said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she didn’t. Maybe a little futile, given the state of things, but stupid and futile were not the same thing. It reminded her a little of a philosophy class she’d taken in school, where they’d talked about all these great thinkers who’d theorized that nothing was real, that the world was just some sort of simulation or hallucination. It had always seemed pointless to Piper-- who cares if everything is fake if you can’t do anything about it? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look,” Piper said, when Percy didn’t respond, “I don’t think I fully understand, but that’s not the same thing as thinking it’s dumb. I just haven’t met a monster that wasn’t actively trying to eat me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This last bit managed to elicit a small laugh from Percy, but it was short-lived. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I keep thinking about this one time me and Annabeth were investigating one of Hephaestus's forges.” He started, as if investigating the forges of a god were a routine and casual activity, “When we got there it was infested with these monsters. Some of them were just kids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kid monsters?” Piper asked, before she could stop herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Weird right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d just always assumed they showed up fully grown.” Piper admitted. She decided not to think too much about how baby monsters came about, for her own sanity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some of them do, I think. Annabeth probably knows how it works.” Percy said, “But anyways, they were like in a classroom, and the teacher was telling them all this stuff about how the gods are evil and everything, like brainwashing them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy grimaced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vaporized like 10 of them. And then I sort of, uh, blew up the entire mountain, so I’m assuming the rest of them also bit it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.” Piper said. She vaguely remembered hearing a camp legend about how Percy had been the one to cause the Mount St. Helens explosion a few years back, but she hadn’t really bought it at the time. Now that she had met Percy in the flesh, she absolutely believed he was capable of single-handedly exploding a volcano. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not my best moment.” Percy admitted, rubbing the back of his head self-consciously, “But I’d never really given the classroom a second thought, until now. But they were just small. They didn’t even know anything, they weren’t a threat to me. I just keep thinking that I should’ve just left them alone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That last gryffon was smaller than the rest.” Piper said, suddenly making the connection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy nodded morosely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just can’t get myself out of that headspace, of like feeling guilty about it. I don’t know why.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper, surprisingly, found herself with the “why” pretty easily. She hadn’t known Percy for long, but she had known Annabeth, and she’d heard all about their relationship from start to finish. When she’d finally met Percy for herself, it only confirmed the fact that there was a recurring thread there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think maybe you’re focused on this because it's easier than focusing on yourself?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy frowned a genuinely surprised frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well…” Piper said, unsure exactly how to word what she wanted to say, “You have this... pattern of action. Like, you’re always willing to put yourself on the line for someone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My fatal flaw.” Percy supplied, “Annabeth’s mom told me that years ago. I’d sacrifice the world to save my friends.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. I think that maybe, that sort of mindset leaks into other things too. Not just life or death stuff, so it’s harder to notice. And now you’ve been through this traumatic thing, and you’re so used to caring about everyone and everything else that you sort of forgot how to take care of yourself.” Piper said. She could feel Percy starting to formulate a rebuttal, so she finished her thought quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it's fine to reconsider some stuff, about the monsters and everything. Maybe there are situations where we could just leave them alone. But giving them more moral leeway than yourself seems like, maybe you’re self-sabotaging a little.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy was silent for a minute, but the air wasn’t charged, just contemplative. When he finally spoke, there was still a thread of surprise in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like how much sense that makes.” he admitted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper laughed, Percy managed a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you just need to find a balance. Having empathy like that is an incredible gift. But you can’t let it consume you, or there won’t be enough of you left to help anyone else.” Piper said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Balance.” Percy repeated, like the word was new to him, “I’m historically not good at that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll figure it out.” Piper said, surprising herself with the confidence in her voice. Maybe more surprising was the fact that she really did believe it, considering it was way easier said than done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Especially if you tell Annabeth about it.” Piper continued. Percy gave her a sideways, suspicious glance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you know I haven’t told Annabeth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gut feeling. Also, you just told me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re tricky, McLean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy sighed, finally setting the cap on his sword, dissolving it back into a pen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I probably should tell her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think she’d want to know.” Piper said mildly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy nodded absentmindedly. He’d been uncharacteristically still through the conversation, but he was starting to get twitchy again, the same way Leo did when he hadn’t done something productive with his hands for more than 20 seconds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for dumping all this on you.” he said. He was twisting his sword in its pen form, like he was itching to take the cap off again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize. Talking is good, that’s what friends are for, right?” Piper said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piper realized then that they really were friends. They’d been through a lot together, but they’d barely gotten the chance to get to know each other outside of life or death situations. This was probably the most normal interaction they’d gotten to have, just talking. Even if the conversation was focused on weird, abnormal stuff like the morality of kiddie monster murder and surviving the pits of Greek hell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because he gave her a warm, genuine smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very true.” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, when the sun had broken across the horizon and she was finally back in her bunk ready to sleep, Piper realized that she pulled back another layer of Percy Jackson. Up until now, every piece of information she learned about him made him feel less like a person and more like a golden idol. An unattainable hero. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Piper thought she saw him better now, not through the lens she’d built from everyone else’s perceptions, but finally, purely, from her own. Percy wasn’t a god. He was just a sixteen year old boy with an impossible life, who’d been through some really shitty things and managed to come out the other end an genuinely good person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For Piper’s money, that was more heroic than every camp legend she’d heard about him put together.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I always felt like the bits during HoH where Percy reflects on what it means for him to have killed so many monsters were so interesting, and I wish BOO had had time to follow up with that. I feel like it adds a whole new dimension to the world that didn't get to be properly explored!</p><p>Anyways, hope you enjoyed that completely self-indulgent drabble lol!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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